Little Johnny was only 5 and as far as he knew his life was ok. Then that tragic day came. A loud “BOOM” and daddy was on the floor. Dead. The gun still in his hand.
Life went on, Johnny was all grown up – he thought. He was on his now. Mom was remarried and all was okay. He had learned to be funny to cover the pain, the memory and the responsibility he felt that daddy was so miserable he wanted to die. Was it his fault?
Soon he found a new friend…the bottle. It brought him the comfort he couldn’t get anywhere else – at least for a little while. One gulp and it started to quiet the torment; and it stuffed the feelings that he couldn’t express.
The problem, it was never enough. What drowned his sorrows once was now taking the whole bottle. It was interfering with his work and his relationships. He was very good at his profession but after a few weeks he again turned to the bottle, missing work, showing up late, and having trouble relating to others. He lost another job.
Then he met a wonderful young lady who loved him very much. Then one week little (big?) Johnny could no longer control his life. He drank till he passed out, woke up drank again, passed out, woke up and he drank again. His young lady got him to the hospital where the doctor said he was dying.
She called her mother to come and pray for him. He was glad someone cared enough to reach out to him. Seeing he was at the end of his rope he agreed he needed to accept Christ. As Sis Anderson visited she also asked about his father and what their relationship had been.
Johnny explained he never really knew him, and he shared the incident that he still remembered though it had somewhat faded. It was a horrible thing that made Johnny very sad. If he had been bigger, maybe he could have saved his life. Somehow he felt responsible.
As Sis Anderson listened to Johnny’s story, she began to realize this horrible memory was ruling Johnny’s life. So, she asked him, “So since you feel responsible, do you think you deserve to die?”
“What do you mean?” he asked with a furrowed brow.
“Obviously you’re trying to kill yourself, Johnny. You’re throwing your life away just like your dad and now you have a choice…totally give your life to Jesus and don’t drink anymore or die just like your daddy.” She paused for a moment. “I doubt your dad would want you to die, do you?”
“No,” he admitted.
“Then let’s pray.” Sis Anderson bowed her head and Johnny joined in. He asked Jesus to take control of his life and he repented for trying to destroy himself. Afterward he said he felt like a new man.
note from author: Johnny doesn’t drink anymore. He’s still funny and often entertains at a comedy club. He’s the proud daddy of a 1-year old ‘junior’ who favors him a lot. He is living a successful life, holding down a job and starting a new business of his own.
Annette Smith Bisbee 